In the words of the old song, “walking back to happiness, walking back to love.”
If you’ve broken up, that’s partly what you want to do. Probably you also partly want to kill your ex, but that’s another issue. Or maybe it’s not another issue, maybe it’s the real issue.
That actually, all along, you were really angry with your ex-for things they didn’t do, and perhaps even the things they did do.
Like they never listened to you, or they disrespected your opinions, or they always thought they knew best, or they never listened to what you wanted … I mean think about it — there are millions of things that could be getting in the way of you and your partner making up.
So question number one: do you really want to make up?
Was your partner your soulmate. Could your partner sorry, your ex-partner, be your soulmate?
Is there any chance that you made a terrible mistake and you should never have broken up?
If so, do you know anything about how to get back together?
And could you do that without going back into the angry, fearful, shame, guilt ridden, unaccepting, judgmental, critical place you were in before?
I mean, you were in that place, right? I assume you are in that place because if you weren’t why would you have broken up?
Something to think about there — that might be a clue as to whether you really could get back with your partner or not.
But, having said that, let’s assume that you have decided you want to get back together with your ex-partner.
Whatcha going to do to make that happen?
What can you do to overcome the grief, pain, the lack of communication, the resentments and all the other throngs that your partner invested in you?
Sorry, of course you were the one who was right all along — I forgot that for a minute!
Now: stop fooling yourself! The truth is, it takes 2 to tango, and it takes 2 to make a relationship, and it takes 2 to break it up.
So if your relationship has broken up we can reasonably assume you’re 50% to blame — even if you don’t think you are.
That means you bear 50% of the responsibility for making up — and if you want to and your partner doesn’t, then clearly you’ll have to carry 100% of the responsibility of making up.
What does that mean in practice?
1) You have to be more emotionally intelligent than you were in the first place, or it’s never going to work.
2) You have to find out some ways in which you can get back together with your partner without being threatening or abusive, guilty or needy.
3) You have to learn some techniques that will allow you to avoid the emotional difficulties that you faced in the first place, that were presumably responsible for you breaking up when you did.
And how are you going to do that?
Go to couples’ counseling with your ex-partner? That’s an interesting suggestion! Maybe you’d like to try asking your ex-boyfriend, or your ex-girlfriend, if they’d like to undertake couples’ counseling with you, just to see what they say….
And of course it’s possible they might say “yes”, in which case your problems are almost over — I mean, let’s face it, if somebody is willing to go to counseling with you, then they’re probably willing to get back together with you.
Of course that doesn’t alter the job you have to do: which is basically about finding a way to re-establish communication, about finding a way to be more emotionally intelligent with each other, and above all, to stop projecting all your negative stuff onto your partner and thinking it’s their fault.
So; not necessarily the easiest thing in the world, I know, but I guess if you need to get back together with your ex-partner badly enough, you’re going to do it.
And that’s where I might be able to help you: because Text Your Ex Back is an incredible system about texting your ex. It truly is a revolutionary system by which you can actually re-establish a relationship through using SMS text messages. I know that sounds a crazy notion, but believe it or not — it does work. You really can Text Your Ex Back. How does it work?
Basically you use a series of highly ordered and systematic text messages, each of which is designed to convey a different impression and a different message. They’re unemotional, they’re detached, they’re objective, and they really give you the opportunity to say what you want to say without provoking anger, grief, fear or anything else.
A serious analysis of the online program can be found on my very own website. See if you want or need a better relationship with someone new or with your ex-partner.